Be the Great Observer

"When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen."--Ernest Hemingway

One of the most important pieces of advice I can give you is to watch and listen.

Observing and listening were two major factors in my early success. If you want to be successful or more successful than you already are, then watch successful people.

Examine Their Habits

What do they wear? What’s their body language when they’re interacting with others or handling difficult situations?

I’m asking you to wear your scientist hat. The great developmental psychologist Jean Piaget called children little scientists. They’re constantly evaluating and making sense of the world.

I encourage you to be a big scientist. Observe the qualities of the people you’d like to be like. Then emulate them. This doesn’t mean that if they drive a Bentley that you should take out a loan and buy one.

It means that you learn to communicate like they do. Imitate their body language. Dress like them (or as similar to them as your budget allows).

Talk Their Talk

What words do they use when they’re communicating with others, especially when matters are stressful? The reason why I emphasize difficult situations is that these are where the most amazing people shine.

John D. Rockefeller, called the richest person in the United States ever by The New York Times was known for his even temper. You may have assumed that this legendary figure of the Gilded Age was abrasive and bossy, but this wasn’t the case.

There’s a story of his son, John Jr. After graduating from college he worked for his father. At one point, he fell prey to an investment scam and lost $1 million (nearly $17 million in current dollars).

The young man couldn’t believe what he had done, and he didn’t have the resources to pay off the debt. He felt like a failure and now he needed to confess his foible to his father. When he told his father, John Sr. answered, “All right, I’ll take care of it John.”

And it wasn’t like John D. Rockefeller had a reputation of letting money like this slip by.

Ron Chernow, author of the bestselling biography of John D. Rockefeller describes that until age 8, his son only wore dresses. John Jr. had two older sisters and his parents clothed the boy in their apparel rather than buy him new attire.

Chernow explains why John Jr.’s father accepted his son’s confession with such kindness.

“It was a vintage Rockefeller performance: The true lesson lay in what he did not say and what he did not do. Rockefeller had sensed that his insecure son had castigated himself so unmercifully that bitter reproaches were superfluous. By showing generosity, he enlisted his son’s loyalty forever.”

Amazing! Imagine your child telling you that she or he has blown $17 million and is now asking you to come to the rescue.

Now I know that Rockefeller has more money than any of us will ever have, but his attitude under pressure is still remarkable.

More to come on the benefits of being a keen observer of your surroundings.

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