A Parent's Guide to Keeping Your Kids Out of Jail by Bernard Madoff

It’s a good thing for Bernard Madoff’s kids that he never sought my parenting advice. If he did, they’d for certain be sharing government issued garments with him in Manhattan’s Correctional Center.

July’s Vanity Fair Magazine will publish an article making the case that Madoff’s two sons, Mark and Andrew, new nothing of the heist.

That’s a cover-up of, as the magazine puts it “of biblical proportions.”

First, they had high-ranking positions in his company. Second the heist is estimated at $60 billion. To see the jaw-dropping list of his clients click on this link to a Wall Street Journal chart.

So allow me to clarify. They worked in his company since their early 20’s, which means that they most likely saw each other on a regular basis.

He hid the fact that he stole $60 billion.

To my three kids, Nicole, Howard, and Michael, I’m an open book. Anyone who knows our family, immediately sees that my husband, children, and I have open lines of communication.

Michael is the President of Nourmand & Associates. He and I see each other practically everyday. I can’t imagine how I could possibly hide $60 billion from him and my husband. (Neither Madoff’s wife, Ruth, or his two sons have been implicated so far.)

Of course, news about Madoff’s sons could change at any moment. But the facts remain: it’s been half-a-year since he was first put in prison, and no evidence has been uncovered regarding his wife and sons’ connection to the swindle.

At one point Madoff sent his sons a gift set: vintage Rolex, Piaget, and Cartier watches with a note that read, “Dear Mark and Andy, if you can bear to keep these watches, they are given with my love. If not, give them to someone who might. Love, Dad.”

According to what I’ve read so far, here are the chapters that would fill the pages of Madoff’s parenting guide:

1. Nepotism in the Modern Age
2. How to Hide Secrets from Your Kids
3. What to Buy them when You Go on an Extended Business Trip

Moses killed a man and ran off to the desert to hide. Madoff stole tens of billions and, according to news reports so far, continued living life-as-usual with his wife and sons.

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